Six Things I Wish I Knew Before I "Grew Up"

Good intentions always start off as, well, good. For example, when I started this blog, I had the good intentions to keep it as consistent as I could, but alas, good intentions don’t exactly write themselves. I would like to say that my hiatus from writing was intentional and that I’ve used this time to write something spectacular, well-edited, and written with intention. Unfortunately, something happened between then and now, and it’s a little thing I like to call life. 

I’ve been in college for three years now, and I’m quite accustomed to the pattern it throws me into. The hectic and ever-changing schedules, sleepless nights, and panic-inducing stress, but I’ve thrown another variable into the mix this term, working full-time. 

Technically, I’ve been, what the law considers, an adult for almost two years now. Still, I haven’t felt the gravity of that concept until a couple of months ago. My nights, while in school, used to be filled with homework and maybe the occasional study session with friends. Now I find myself dragging myself home after working full days, and studying has been substituted for going to bed early and dreaming about paying rent. Now throw in worrying about packing lunches and giving rides, and I’ll be one step closer to that stereotypical suburban soccer mom mentality. Luckily, I can’t transform until I get a shirt (or some sort of merchandise) that makes a “witty” joke about it being “wine’o’clock” or “but first wine” or “less whine and more wine” or “I NEED A HUGe glass of wine,” and that won’t be happening anytime soon. 

Now, instead of worrying about whether or not I have friends to hang out with on the weekend, I work them; instead of waking up early and getting stuff done, I sleep as long as I can to soak up the last bits of happiness from my day; instead of doing homework…I don’t do homework. I wish I could say that I was doing something more productive, but that would just be lying about my list of good intentions that have remained intentions. 

While writing this, I’m transitioning from one hectic schedule to another. One of my classes has ended, and I’ve got a new job, and as of next Tuesday, I will be working 44 hours per week. I feel the urge to put in some cheesy exclamatory statement about how, “that’s a lot of work, Chloé!” or “Yikes!” but I’m still quite numb to the idea. 

As I reflect on my current situation and compare it to my life before “adulting,” I just have one thing to say. Boy, am I an idiot. Last year, I was complaining to my mother that I didn’t have all that much time on my hands. Though I was taking more classes, I was only working ten hours a week (a mere pittance compared to my schedule now). I took weekends and sleeping in during the weekdays for granted, and so much more. Sadly, I can’t turn back time. Cause if I could, I would’ve already gone back and slapped the studio executive who thought a new Mummy movie, with the world’s most unconvincing scientologist, was a good idea into forgetting they ever thought of it. 

So I can’t turn back time and make sure only good movies were made, but I can think about what I would’ve told myself before I was confronted with the rest of my life. I won’t bore you to death with a terribly long list, mainly because most of my readers are adult family members (hi, mom), but I will highlight issues that are most important to me and my growth.

6 Things I Wish I Knew Before I “Grew Up.”

1. Budgeting is rocket science, but you need to do it.

As I just mentioned, I wanted to highlight some issues that plague my generation in particular, and one of those issues is not understanding the concept of budgeting. Ironically, as a consequence of shrinking budgets for the public school system, whole generations are growing up without ever being exposed to what our parents learned in Home Economics and other such classes. So yes, I don’t know how to budget. I can write code to find the mean of ducks that got grapes from a lemonade stand from a randomized sample derived from a larger population, but I couldn’t tell you much I should spend on groceries this month. 

When talking to someone about the fact I can’t budget, I got the response, “It’s not rocket science.” Logically speaking, budgeting is not using complex formulas to find the speed of a rocket ship re-entering the atmosphere, but to someone who has never learned how to budget, it feels like it sometimes. So the point of this is taking the time to learn before it comes to bite you in the ass because it will. 

2. Find a job and save up money while you can. 

If the first suggestion isn’t a big enough hint, I’m not all that good with money. My policy with money and working, and the like, just have enough money to pay for it all and don’t worry about the rest. Not really the smartest, but I’ve never had to revise this way of life until now. 

If I could go back, I would’ve taken all that excess money I spent on expensive toys and put it into a savings. Save as much as you can, while you can, because soon you will be forced into the workforce and saving isn’t as easy when you have to spend money to survive.  

3. Find yourself a therapist (you don’t think you need it, but you do).

As a psychology student and frequent user of therapy, I’ve gotten used to summing up my reasoning for therapy in these words: therapy is not a tool to use when you’ve already lost your way; therapy is where you go to gather the tools to help yourself when that time comes, and hopefully you are more prepared to handle that situation. It may seem pointless, but trust me when I say that the outlet will provide you more relief than I can put into words. There is nothing wrong with therapy, so take the time to find a therapist and create that outlet to talk about your unhealthy obsession with reenacting scenes from The Office at inappropriate moments.

4. You don’t know everything (nor do you need to), so ask for help.

As a product of this individualistic society, I feel this urge to know everything and feel shame when I am confronted with the fact I don’t. Being that our culture praises knowledge and inhuman levels of productivity, not being able to keep up with that standard can be difficult. So instead of keeping up, try stopping completely. Accept that you don’t need to know everything at the age of eighteen, and ask for help when you need it.

5. If you don’t take time to rest, your body will do it for you.

The day I received my diploma for surviving high school, I walked across that stage confidently with snot running down my face. Not from crying, but because I had a fever of 102 and my body decided it was time to give me the middle finger for treating it poorly the prior year that led to this moment. I spent a year so focused on school and clubs and work that I neglected my body, and it just gave up. I’ve repeated this cycle a number of times in college, and let me just say that my body really, really hates me. I’ve gotten sick almost every finals week since I started college because I push myself too hard.  

With that said, find some friends, join a club, start a new hobby, and make time for it. Make time for yourself. Exercise, read a book, watch a movie, take a nap, do something to prevent your body from hitting the red button, and halting everything. Because if your body decides when to stop, it will choose the most inopportune moment possible, and you will regret not taking the time to watch “Attack of the Killer Doughnuts.” Yes, that is a real movie. And yes, it is the worst movie that has ever existed, and maybe you won’t regret it.  

6. Don’t be an asshole. 

Finally, don’t be an asshole. It’s pretty self-explanatory but unfortunately the most complex of my little bits of advice. The point of this bit is not to say you have to be nice all the time (cause I don’t think that’s even possible), but when you don’t feel like being nice, and your customer service face is broken, just don’t be an asshole. Just be decent. 

So to summarize, as I always feel the urge to do, make a budget, and save your money, find a therapist, ask for help, take time for yourself, and just be decent. Turn those “good intentions” into actionable goals and work towards them with more than only those intentions (*cough* Chloé).

Sincerely, 

Your friendly neighborhood college student